Be cheerful

2010-12-24T07:31:00.000-08:00

Today is christmas eve.
Christmas eve.
What's going through my mind is: What's christmas eve?
Why do i feel so bad though it is christmas?
Not only i feel restless, I feel tortured.

What is this?
What the hell this is?
Just get away!

:(

2010-10-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

Come to think of it that the 1st week of school has ended, which also means closer to exams and more of unwanted of projects.
Although i do feel a little pressured, i have to stand firm.
My mind tells me to press on but on other hand, my heart isn't there.
This feeling really can push me to a limit that chances of getting into depression is higher.

"You must have more confidence in yourself!" said old bean.
"This is only the first week of school, try to bring yourself back and stand firm." said Mr Aloysius Tan.
People can give me as much as they can but I have to work on it if not it's pointless.
But the thing is.. how?
I feel lost.

Mr Tan called me today and told me a good news and a bad news.
Good news is some of us are selected to take the diploma plus programme.
Bad news is out 4 of us, 1 was not chosen.
Though i'm not the one that was not chosen, i don't feel the joy or satifaction.
The first thing that strike my mind is "Can i cope? Am I up for it?"
In everything I do, i always keep a positively mind but after some time, the feeling of giving up everything just came back.
This is really not nice.

I don't know how to voice it out to a friend.
They have their own problems to face, why adding their problems?
The one that can hear me is god.
I hope god will help me to relieve this tension in my heart.

I don't want to go school with a heavy heart,showing my uninterested countenance in class.
I don't want to drop tears on my way home.
I don't want to hide away from my friends to miss the fun.
I don't want to be tied up with unnecessary things that can't affect me but affected me.
I just don't want to be not myself.

I want to smile like a kid playing a playground when i go school.
I want to scream like a kid playing catching.
I want to jump for joy like a kid when i gotten what i desire.
I want to be my best in front of my friends.
I just want to be myself.

I have to simplify my life and take actions slowly.
Only this will i be eased.

indecisive mind

2010-10-06T09:36:00.001-07:00

Have I thought of my future after my poly?
Seriously, I'm quite clueless about it.

My old bean asked me this:
If you got the chance to go to a top university in the world, will you?
For a minute, I can't even think of an answer and asked him back why he question me about it.
He asked my friends, Herman and Lester about this.
I'm sure both of them can give him a definite answer.

For me, a word 'yes' or 'no' never even came out from my mouth.
I pondered, my friends have dreams and think about what they want, what about me?
Have I ever thought of about or even want to think about it?
In this society right now, without a piece of paper,people can't bring far.
Having the certificate is a safety tool for you to be secure.

*Sigh..*
This world is getting competitive.
It seemed like this question really makes me start to think.

Through the conversation with him, he gave me encouragement and guts to face this realistic world I'm living in.
After all, he is my old bean, I will not disappoint him.

In the midst of thoughts, after poly, I ever gotten a chance to go any overseas university,I will take consideration.
I'm not afraid to go because i think i am independent enough to take care of myself; afraid i'm just mentally lost there.
I think i need accompany.
Though I know that in everything we do in life, we must give it a shot.
But I don't think i'm mentally prepared for this.

I shall take this seriously and really think about it for a day.

Fug mie life

2010-09-27T06:37:00.000-07:00

I don't understand.
I only don't talk, they say i give attitude.
I don't talk, cannot because tomorrow i get results and is scare?
Cannot?
What is can?

I really don't know and don't wish to explain further.
Explaining further will only arouse more quarrel.
One sentence: No one understands how i feel.
They only want me to understand how they feel.

Have they ever ask me why i want to go so badly?
Have they ask what will i learn and experience?
Have they ask do i have the responsibilities to take care of myself since i'm big enough?
No.

Suck big time la..

2010-09-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

Some things just don't change the way it supposed to be.
It's useless no matter how hard you try..

2010-09-26T05:48:00.001-07:00

No.

your wish is my command

2010-09-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Dear dad,

I hope you allow me to go on a trip with my friends.
I really want to go though i know you're worried with my safety.
This trip will let me experience what is life all about where i have to know my own safety.
I will know the meaning of life seeing all those people who are more unfortunate than us.

If i am still unable to go, i don't think i will oppose further.
Just want to let you know, because of me, my fellow friends are very kind enough to make lots of necessary changes for me.
If i end up not going, i think it will be disappointment for them.
As a friend, you wouldn't want your friends to be disappointed right?
This is not a threat but i will feel bad for them too.

I have to understand and conpromise both sides.
I wouldn't want to force you to let me go and to let me friends feel bad at the same time.
My friends are part of life which also go through thick and thin with me in school when you're not around.
They are not ordinary friends, they are the ones who stood by me whenever i need help.
Without them, i will not be making this far like what i am now in school.

I hope you change the perception on my friends and understand how i feel.
Lastly..

I will always go on with your final decision.

From,
Jo

2010-09-18T06:04:00.000-07:00

After today, I am so determined to go overseas to further my studies.
I want to go US.
The only way is to get scholarship and go there without my parents paying anything.

Cool right? I know.

A distraught

2010-09-18T06:03:00.001-07:00

Is there a solution to approach the unapproachable and get the answer you want?

2010-09-03T22:30:00.000-07:00

Really **** up!

You PATHETIC, UNREASONABLE, RIDICULOUS FREAK!

I hate staying under the same roof as you!

Scold me for all you want!
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

SCREW YOUU!

2010-09-03T05:11:00.000-07:00

I'm feel despondent after asking and knowing the answer..
I wish i ask in the first place.

I want to learn to be independent,not in terms of financial but physically.
It was not granted because the reason was dangerous.

Oh god.. drown in sorrows..

2010-08-27T06:38:00.001-07:00

I have a feeling i can't go on a trip with my friends :(

When i ask my mum if i can go, her reply was ask my dad.
If my dad is approachable, i wouldn't have ask my mum.

2010-08-21T04:36:00.000-07:00

我的天啊..
考试要到了,读了不少书,复习了一次又一次,而我觉得自己还是没信心.
怎么办?

多亏有"老豆"一直在补救我,把我给准备好,上考场.
我真希望能考到好成绩,让我不用那么担心下半年进不了我想要科目.
如果有机会考到 GPA3.8以上,我可能可以拿到奖学金去美国念书.

我知道要做一个很优秀的学生不简单,但要至少要拿一个好的文凭.
在新加坡,要考进本地的大学,是一件非常难的事.
我心理在想,不妨试一试?

想未来,就有将来.
有了将来,头才能抬.
抬了头,我们才明白.
明白什么?

有了未来,统统都来!

2010-08-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

I am afraid I might not be able to do well in my major exam and be promoted to Semester 2.
This is like a big threat to me now.
Trying to understand and doing practices on the tutorials makes me slightly more confident but there's still uncertainties.
Asking for help is the best solution but disappointing the help is another thing.

I just wish that I have more intelligence but this request is too much.
Well, what to do?

Just gonna live with it..

A lot of option but one choice.

2010-08-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes resigning might just be the best choice when there's no other option.

Sudden lost of motivation towards studies

2010-07-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

This morning I asked my mum for a request.
When she heard that, she said: Anything but not going vietnam.
My heart literally sank to hell.
I told her i will study hard regardless of anything and i am able to take care of myself.
Two words came out: Too dangerous.

If only,
If only,
If only..
I am able to go Vietnam with friends, it will be the best birthday gift ever.

2010-07-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just screw my own self up.
Giving myself unwanted stress for not understanding the right facts.
The suspense of not understanding something just make you feel like an idiot.

The worst feeling is that when someone tried explaining to you numerous time and you still don't understand.
The problem doesn't lay on the person who explains but myself.
I really feel super bad for not understanding what others are trying so so so hard to explain nicely to me.

If I don't understand, common things I did was either:
- Grab my pencil tight
- No direct eye contact to anyone
- Keep silent (Because I am afraid that I explained the wrong concept of mine and make the person who explain feels that his/her explaination is bad despite numerous attempts)
- Nod or shake my head only

*I'm very glad that I have awesome friends supporting and helping me out whenever I'm in need, regardless how difficult the obstacles were. Thanks! I owe you one.
Thanks Kishen pap, herman and lester.

2010-07-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

As students in Singapore trudge back to school at the end of the month-long June holiday, many youths and parents alike ask in unison, “Holiday? What holiday?”

The Straits Times Forum page has recently been abuzz with complaints from angry parents about their children being “burdened” with work during their June vacation. One concerned mum, Ms Kelly Kishore, was especially unhappy about having to cancel a family vacation because her daughter was too busy with assignments and projects.

“Many of her classmates faced the same situation. One enterprising mother outsourced the entire (holiday homework) job to a tutor, while another carried a laptop with her to enable her daughter to continue working while overseas,” wrote Ms Kishore, who has a 13-year-old daughter enrolled in a top school.

“While the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) is campaigning for ‘family time’, the Ministry of Education (MOE) seems to be working at cross-purposes,” she adds.

Another reader, Jonathan Tan, reveals that in many junior colleges, the common practice is to place mid-year examinations right after the June holidays. This results in students being forced to study during the mid-year break to do well in exams on top of the extra classes and tests held during the holidays.

He writes, “We need to get away from the mindset that slogging without rest is the only way to compete. Adequate rest can increase performance significantly; without it, even the strongest-willed students will succumb to burnout.”

Another concerned reader, Mr Tan Chwee Seng, urged the government to act so that "our children are not systematically robbed of their childhood”.

The Education Ministry’s Director of Schools, Wong Siew Hoong, recently addressed the issue in the Forum page when he said schools were adopting a “balanced approach”. He agreed schools should avoid conducting compulsory lessons or tests during school vacations. They do, however use part of the holidays to conduct remedial or enrichment classes and co-curricular activities to “give additional support or enrichment” for students who need it.

“The Ministry of Education (MOE) will remind schools to be judicious in planning class activities during school vacations,” he adds.

Yet others like Madam Jacelyn Ong also feel that parents “cannot have it both ways”.

“On one hand, (parents) they burden their children with tutors and extra tuition, adding to their children’s stress. On the other, they complain about spoilt vacation plans when schools introduce extra lessons during the school break,” she wrote in another letter.

At the end of the day, it seems to me that it all boils down to competition and the “pursuit of excellence”. Schools push their students to do well because the school’s reputation – and hence the principal’s credibility — are at stake.

This dog-eat-dog mentality reflects a greater pattern of Singapore life. In a small city-state like Singapore, people are our only single, most valuable resource. It would seem like the best way to make the most of what we have is to increase productivity by studying harder, getting the best grades, going to the top schools and eventually getting a high-paying job.

All this contributes to a huge vicious cycle that ultimately takes its toll on the population — stress, lack of basic courtesy in certain aspects of daily life and even rise in divorce rates/low birth rates are but mere symptoms of this all-consuming rat-race.

Perhaps, it is really all about striking a balance between work and play. But just how we can go about achieving that “balanced approach” is the real elephant in the room.

My opinions:
I think schools should set exams before the holidays so that students are able to spend more time with their families and do whatever they like. Homeworks piling up occupied most of the time to clear it and it is the most draining-energy 'activity' ever. On the other hand, without homework, students tend to forget most of things they learnt in school. Thus, holiday homework should be given at a reasonable amount, regardless what school you are from.

2010-06-30T01:45:00.000-07:00

I feel so sad right now..
My parents don't allow me to go bagpacking with my friends to Vietnam..
I tried my best to persuade them but they just wouldn't allow. (all they say is, dangerous)
This is once in a lifetime experience.

Even though i'm willing to:
- Save up my money and pay for myself
- Study super hard for all my exams
- Start to be more independent

With all these 'S's, it's still not convincing to them.

2010-06-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

My problems had been arising lately.
For instance, just now, my dad had to sign my youngest brother's report book.
When he looked at the class position, he was not too satisfied so he questioned my brother.
"How come will get this type of results when I spent so much money on tuition for you?"
My brother just kept silent.
He didn't want to explain much because he knew that my dad won't entertain.
"Do you know you have to be in school for another 2 years, comparing with our neighbour upstairs, they only 1 year. People go jc, you haven't even graduate. Your sister is in poly, slower than other people who are in jc..." and he added.
My dad kept on adding salt into my brother's wound and my brother burst into tears and said suddenly.
"You only know how to compare me and other people! Only know how to scold! Scold la!.. I know I'm stupid! Why must give me so much tuition and I really had enough of all these! *Clutching his fist,pinching himself, hitting himself*
He started to like abuse himself.
I was trying to help him by telling my dad it's not nice to say like this.
Then i held on to my brother, trying to bring him to wash up but he push me away.
I was shocked.
Here I am helping him, and all i got was a push?
I whispered in his ear and said: If you're not letting me to help you, no one will.
He still sat there stubbornly.
My mum couldn't take it and shouted at him.
Alright, this time worst.
My brother already not happy and he retorted: What! why must listen? whenever i talk or do, you all always me. Whatever i do, also not happy! What you want? I know i very useless and i want to die..! Why you give birth to me in the first place!

Alright, this is even worst.
My mum went in front of my brother and asked him to repeat himself.
I quickly pull my brother to the toilet to prevent things to get worst.

After washing up in the toilet, he didn't want to come out.
He just cried in the toilet. Punching the wall, hitting himself again and mumbling to himself.
He even cried till his muscles went tight, can't even hold the tissue properly.
Stand also cannot stand straight.
I talked to him nicely, he just won't listen, he just screamed and shouted at me.
He even asked me to go away.

I really don't know what he wants but one thing for sure, he, cannot be, scolded by other people.
He can't take it.
He will not be himself after being admonished.
It's a totally different person, as if he was being possessed.
I really hope he realised that he is in the wrong by saying those harsh words to my mum and he go apologise.
Another thing is that, i think my dad has to change the way he talks.
I know he is trying to tell us to study hard for future purposes but the method he used just don't suit us.
He wants to give encouragement but the say he say it as if he scolding people..
So i hope he do .. something .. to it?

2010-06-23T03:17:00.000-07:00

Recently, I got an email from my class PM.
It's about going on an exchange programme in various countries:
France, Germany, Finland, Ireland & Netherlands, Japan and South Korea.
Out of all these country, I chose to go FRANCE!
But..
To be selected to go, I must attend a talk and most importantly, must be acadamically well too.
That's why..
I am so gonna study during JULY!

Study hard, JO!

2010-06-19T09:46:00.001-07:00

I came for a purpose, not the real reason.
Purposes of coming here, is not as simple as you think it is.

2010-06-16T08:39:00.001-07:00

17 days more to prove myself be part of them.

2010-06-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

I'm quite amazed that I am able to finish a 7.04km run!
* A pat on my shoulder * (:

2010-06-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

If I were to tell you my days are descending, how would you feel?

I wish everything should just come to an end so that everyone do not need to suffer so much.

I'm waiting for someone to say: That's enough.

2010-06-10T03:15:00.000-07:00

Today is a day that my life is full of drowisness.
I had my flu medicine,Rinafort, this morning because I thought that it might prevent me to have flu and spread it to my classmates.
So.. i took it.
During the trip to school on the bus, I slept.
I was like a deep deep sleep..
My head was spinning, I felt super tired out of the sudden.
I dragged myself to school and at the same time, fighting to stay awake.
Do you know how difficult was that?

I managed to pull through 2 lectures in a row.
My friends around me were caring.
In order not to disappoint them, I told them i'm fine.
During the break, after my lunch, I went on to another deep sleep.
I slept about 45minutes and by the time it was tutorial.
My friends started to wake me up, I could hear them, but I just couldn't move.
My arms, hands, legs and feets are numb, I couldn't even open my eyes for long.

Kishen piggybacked me to the health science block with the others.
I was fighting to stay awake to answer him but I really can't use much strength to talk.
But I could hear.
I could hear herman saying: hey shen, if you can't take it, i'll take over.
I have wonderful and awesome classmates.
I really appreciate what they did today.
Thank you so much!

I realised one thing.
When my dad fetched me home, I knew he weeped.
I could hear from the running nose.

What I want to say to him is:
Hey dad, don't worry.
I'm a strong girl.

2010-06-09T00:15:00.001-07:00

Thanks for all your encouragement!
I feel the power.

2010-05-31T02:45:00.001-07:00

Today is the painful-est and the most restless day ever.

I had 2 exams which accouting and statistics.
For statistics, I blanked out during the exam when I read the first question.
Normally when I looked at the question, I would know what to do next.
But, it turned out that I had to read more than 4 times to understand what the question wants.

Sometimes, I just don't get it.
People always say: Study SMART, not study HARD.
I was thinking, if I am not smart, how am I gonna study smart?
That's why I always study hard for my exams.
But now the thing is, I studied hard and got what I don't expected, I will feel extremely bad.

There's a saying: Hardwork paid off.
I don't feel it. I really don't.
Sometimes I just don't understand the meaning of life, it is just full of misery.

There are always obstacles to stop you along your life,
either you move, or you don't.

Right now, I feel like crying off on someone's chest.

2010-05-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't have school today!
Yes!

My butt hurts..

2010-05-13T01:33:00.000-07:00

CHERYL YUEN!

If you ever come across my blog again, READ WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU.

If one day you feel like crying, call me.
I can't promise I will cheer you up but I can cry with you.

If one day you want to runaway, don't forget about me.
I promise I won't ask you to stop but I will run with you.

If one day you don't want to listen to anyone, ring me.
I promise to be there for you but also promise to remain silent.

If one day you want to break down, call me.
I promise to lend you my shoulder.

Do the best in everything you do.
Remember how much efforts you put in and not remember all those formula than this.

Press on! A better fate awaits thee.
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.

You have all my support, my dear friend (:

Clinton vs. Iran

2010-05-04T06:32:00.001-07:00

In the administration's sharpest break from the president's initial policy of engaging Iran, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton today harshly rebutted Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at the United Nations.

In her speech, she said that this morning’s speech by Iran's president offered the same "tired false accusations.” She added, "Iran will do whatever it can to evade responsibility."

Threatening tougher sanctions, she said, "Ultimately, we will all be judged not by our words but by our actions. The onus is on Iran."

According to Clinton, "Iran is the only country in this hall found by the IAEA board of governors not to be in compliance with U.N. safeguard obligations. It has defied the Security Council and the IAEA."

(The IAEA is the U.N.'s International Atomic Energy Agency.)

Clinton said that is why Iran is facing increasing pressure from the rest of the world, but she said, "Iran will not succeed in its attempts to divert and divide."

Clinton said that the Obama administration will retain nuclear weapons as a deterrent as long as they exist elsewhere, but that she was today revealing the number of U.S. weapons in its stockpile. (The numbers were previously classified.)

She also pledged millions more to help states get peaceful nuclear energy and steps to turn the Middle East into a nuclear-free zone.

"I call on Iran to join with the other delegations to go ahead and fulfill our obligations to build a safer world,” she said, “rather than focusing on our differences we must acknowledge we are all in this together."

Summarised:
1) Iran is progessing with its nuvlear program and when U.S found out, they are afraid thet Iran might be planning something.

2) As above, Clinton said she wants to turn middle east into a nuclear - free zone but Iran is mass manufacturing nuclear weapons.

3)On the views of Iranians, they claimed that they are pursuing nuclear technology for peaceful civilian purposes only but U.S seen it as a threat.

4) This nuclear program is considered legal under international agreements.

My opinion: I think that this program is not totally considered as a threat because of the permission given and this issue was implemented in 2002 but US didn't take any action. It might be that US is afraid that Iran might invade their country as their US military is already stretched thin in Iran. But if iran manufacturers more nuclear weapons than other superpowers, it will be a threat, thus there is a neccessary to stop this nuclear manufacturing.

Interested to know more, here is the link:
1) http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2010/05/03/2292837.aspx
2) http://www.cfr.org/publication/8830/

2010-04-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

Today was a harsh day.
8 hours in school,and somemore lesson so boring,especially statistic.
The tutor talk like hypnotising the whole class -.-''
And homework rolling in again..

Who says ploy life is relaxing?
Totally sala!
It is relaxing only break time,1 hour.
Sometimes lecturer will early dismiss you, even better,longer break.

Life in poly is really different.
I can't see the moghawks every recess, especially cheryl.
I wonder how's she doing.
I hope those people in school look out for her when she need help.

I'm not there to be with her.

To Cheryl: Stay strong! You are doing well with this pace.
If you are in need of help, do seek for it.
Don't be alone,never stay alone and solve the problems yourself.
One's strength is never greater than a whole.
Well, study and play hard!

To Ricky: Hey ricky martin! How's life going?
Tough huh? (:
You too, stay strong.
You have a smart brain and better make use of it ;)
Don't waste it.
Good luck in everthing you do, dude!

To Jiayu: Eh fish! Have you feel the tension of o level so far?
I hope you felt it cos it's important!!
I know you hate social studies but still have to study right?
Just get over and done with!
NO MORE NEXT YEAR AFTER YOU GRADUATE!
Ace your subjects!
Not just be a fish, be a STARfish!
Jiayou hor! ;)

To Joanne: Yo Jojo!
Aiya,you ah, I got no worries. (:
So smart..if possible, just help those people in front I mentioned.
Well, I have fate in you being the top few for o levels.
Sure can one.
If you ever feel sad or troubled, you can say out.
I'll try to be a good listening ear if i can (:
So Jiayou, Jellyfish!

To Ivan: Sup Ivan!
How's school life going?
Hope you're fine and had already started to gear up for your most important exams.
Don't be afraid, just be confident.
Determination is the best 'equipment' for war.
So,you got it? (:
Well, I wish you all the best!
Keep up all the good work you had done (;

To Sok Kuan: Hellooo Twin sister!
Loooong timme nooo seeee!
Hope you have already step down and get prepared for your exams.
It is a crucial year for you and I have faith in you, sister!
Cannot disappoint me leh!
Do what you can and what is the best of you.
Always try your best in everything you do.
Well, Good luck to you and i wish you well! (:

Dear Moghawks,
I, Jocelin, Creator of moghawks, wishes you all the best in everything you do.
Be confident of yourself and do the very best in everything, anything.
Patience and perserverence have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.
Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
So, unleash it (:

Gooooooooood Lucccccck Peeeeeeeeps!

2010-04-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

Well,this is just the end of this week and I'm piled by homework.
Piled by homework like MicroEconomics, Accounting, Principle of management and Statistics.
Lol,fully loaded.

Well, i go get over and done with so I can enjoy my weekends! (:

2010-04-23T03:39:00.000-07:00

Recently school started with orientation and stuffs.
I ain't interested with anything.
My class was great,quite bonded though.
Hope my life ahead in poly will be great.

2010-04-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

When we lose a loved one,we generally go through
a stage of shock and we will also go through
a stage of denial,
a stage of (even guilt) for not feeling much,
a stage of sadness will slowly come and later,
a stage of acceptance,
and we will keep the good memories and
we will move on.
I hope i can do this.

2010-04-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

That day I saw this outside Mariott hotel.

2010-03-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

I'm overboard
And I need your love
Pull me up
I can't swim on my own
It's too much
Feels like i'm drowning without your love
So throw yourself out to me
My lifesaver

What had been gave is given.

2010-03-17T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today while I was walking to my mum's office, a lady aged about 30 - 40 tapped my shoulder.
"Excuse me, i'm going to the hospital and i don't have any money now. How much money do you have?"
"10 dollars?" I questioned.
"10 dollars not enough,i still need to cab to hospital and pay the hospital bills."
"50 dollars?" I added.
" Aiya,do you have atm or not? I hired cab and bring you to the nearest petrol station and draw money." (She is pissed)
I smelled this is fishy but I saw her leg rotting so I pitied and went with her. But she wants me to lend me also don't use this kind of tone to talk to me. -.-

On the way, she told i'm a kind girl. Lol. Seriously, I never ponder she will return me my money because I just think so.
"The god will bless you for helping me today. I'm a christian."
"What if i cannot contact you? I scared my children anyhow lost the paper of your contact?"
"Er..you can find me at my poly.."(as if she will go all the way to my school)
Okay, she is a christian, let's see who got the retribution.
At that time, it is not i'm not smart but maybe this lady really needs help plus I saw her leg wounds and I can't help it but give it to her.

I told this to my mum and surprisingly she didn't scold me.
She said treat it as helping someone.

What had been gave is given.
If I ever get my money back, she is really honest.
If I don't, I just treat it as giving it to charity or some retribution.

Is victory so important in my life?

2010-03-14T21:15:00.001-07:00

I don't understand why whenever I do something, I use my best to get it done and hope I gain victory. Let's take today as an example: I had sparring(fight) with my brother during taekwondo lesson. He kicked and punched me with no mercy. When his left leg is out to kick, his right leg will follow up. It's painful so I began to fight like as if i'm gonna kill that person, whack him like no one's business. I used my anger to fight and my sir said : Jocelin, you cannot let your anger to take control of the fight. You are not sparring like your ownself, must control yourself.
When the sparring ends, my brother tried to talk to me but I totally ignored him. He even tried several times to talk but I just ignore. He knows that i'm angry. After lesson, he went to tell my sir about it. My sir came and tried to talk things out with me. I just couldn't tell him I can't lose to someone who is bigger size than me because I was once being bully in primary school and I will definitely whack that person in order to protect myself,so sometimes I will lose control and fight as if i'm in a real fight. Those people who sparred with me will get unwanted injuries because of me and i'm sorry..

2010-03-12T22:29:00.001-08:00

Finally i've got my very own laptop.

2010-03-12T07:28:00.001-08:00

I don't wish my life is fully controlled like a robot.

2010-03-09T06:11:00.000-08:00

I have unreasonable spartens,
i have disrespectful thorbers.
I wanna live this place.

2010-02-28T07:24:00.000-08:00

No one can lead a happy life unless you have a solution.
Life is full of misunderstandings and bickerings..
I don't understand..
I don't wanna live in an environment full of complications.
It just messed me up and destroy every minute and seconds of my life.
Can there be peace and harmony at home?

For a moment, they left you a deep impression in them.
For a moment, they made you fear because you are powerless.
And for a moment, you feel like you are a ping pong ball being hit and passed from one side to another.

I would be grateful if someone just bring me out from there.

Being with the moghawks,I feel like i'm in heaven.

2010-02-27T04:46:00.000-08:00

Everytime when i'm at home alone, i fear of seeing things i don't wanna see.
I fear they don't come home but at the same time i don't wish they are back.
Every night when i'm on bed, i fear of dreaming things i don't wanna ponder.
I fear 'things' might bring me away but at the same time i don't wish to be brought back.

I don't wanna stay at a place where there's no happiness and would let me feel miserable.
Can someone bring me away..?

=..(

Everyone has a say

2010-02-27T04:40:00.000-08:00

He wants people to listen to him,then who listens to me?

Tell me why..

2010-02-25T05:22:00.000-08:00

2010-02-19T07:00:00.001-08:00

It will be great if I'm living with cheryl..

2010-02-18T06:21:00.000-08:00

I never eat vegetables also get scolding.
He said " don't eat,wait till 30 years old you no hair don't complain."
He continued: No wonder you are short.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ LAH!

He better not force me.

2010-02-18T06:02:00.000-08:00

I wish there isn't this, there isn't that.

2010-02-16T07:25:00.001-08:00

I wish I didn't born.
It seemed like being born was to be use as a punching bag.

2010-02-13T06:22:00.000-08:00

He unhappy,
he scold,
he critisize,
he embarass,
What's next?

2010-02-12T08:21:00.000-08:00

I like living.
I have sometimes been wildly,despairingly,
miserable,racked with sorrows,but through it all I
still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

2010-02-11T03:15:00.000-08:00

I believe in you.
You can make it happen because it's in you.

2010-02-07T21:38:00.000-08:00

I fell throughout the path of obstacles, get on my feet back up and thought to myself: This fall isn't as bad as the previous one.

2010-02-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

Just kill me la! wts..I don't want this type of pathetic life.

What a worthy return.

2010-02-02T05:27:00.000-08:00

Today I went out with Yijie,Mingjun and Kaixiong to buy PS3.
In the end, I returned home empty-handed.

When I was there,the seller gave me a best price.
It's triple 7.
A console and Band Hero for triple 7.
I phoned: "Eh mi, the total price triple 7."
She replied: "Don't buy."
I was like wts(what the shit)..
"Huh? don't buy? but my friends brought me here alr leh."I told her.
She retorted: "At there already means must buy meh?"
This really pissed me off, I kept silent on the phone.
When I put the phone down, I told myself: CALM DOWN.
I totally sian.
I brought money and a big smile there and what I get was anger.
Thanks a lot.

2010-02-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

Friends are friends forever
If the lord's the lord of them
And a friend will not say never
Because the welcome will not end

Though It's hard to let you go
In the father's hands we know
that a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends..

2010-01-25T06:30:00.001-08:00

Virus(as in illness) can actually be send by message.

2010-01-16T05:57:00.000-08:00

Today I went for an investment seminar at Capital Tower near Tanjong Pagar MRT.
The course was informative and I look forward for more.
The cost of the seminar was 50 bucks.
9am - 1pm
Here are some photos.

2010-01-16T05:14:00.001-08:00

We went to catch a movie after school cca day ended.
watched The Spy next Door!
I think the spy equipment is cool.
If I have a chance to become one, beware of my equipments,it might just give you a sting(:

Utterly disappointed

2010-01-11T04:34:00.000-08:00

I wish I didn't know the truth but still have to accept it.
I didn't meet my small target and felt disappointed.
Fortunately, is a small target afterall.
I thought I could make it and get like less than 20 points but..
My hardwork did not paid off much but at least better than school prelims.

I knew that crying over results was useless but..
I've tried my best.

Why didn't my parents scold me for not getting good results?
I always feel guilty for not letting my parents to be proud of me.
They groomed me well and I got this.
They always say: "is okay, nevermind. " but I know their hearts is saying another thing.
This made me feel more bad that I've let them down..
I'm sorry.

Never torture your maid

2010-01-07T05:36:00.000-08:00

The news say an indonesian maid was upset that she couldn't get enough sleep.
She then took out frustration by pouring a CUPFUL OF URINE into employer's drinking water.

SO... Never torture your maid, if not your drinks will be spike with not a cupful but a pail of urine!

2010-01-06T07:16:00.000-08:00

When the truth is revealed, it's time to accept it.
I'm 5 days away from the truth.
I hope i'm prepared.

2010-01-06T04:49:00.000-08:00

2009-12-31T02:10:00.000-08:00

I hope it just don't happen.. if not it wouldn't be like this..

Be yourself ?

2009-12-28T07:09:00.000-08:00

There's a saying "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Well, I don't really agree about it.
I think I have to start to learn how to be more femine..
More aware of tabel manner..
More cautious of my wearing..
More eloquent when speaking..
More concern about myself then about others..
More..
and alot more..

That is why I can't be myself anymore..

2009-12-27T06:57:00.000-08:00

Accepting the truth is hard.
Realising the truth is pain.
I wish I didn't know the truth cos it aches one's heart.

2009-12-24T20:46:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-21T07:02:00.001-08:00

Now that I know the truth, I must keep to myself.
But why not tell me in the first place?
It just stunned me totally after knowing.

2009-12-19T08:32:00.000-08:00

Happy 63rd Birthday to my grandma!

2009-12-17T06:39:00.000-08:00

If you like to sing and would like to know what's your standard,
Try this web provided you have a microphone.
www.karaokeparty.com

2009-12-14T06:45:00.001-08:00

Happy 15th Birthday to my brother!

2009-12-12T19:55:00.000-08:00

Today went out with my mum to orchard to shop for my dad's and brothers' birthday present.
My mum bought a Mont Blanc pen for my dad ,2 Crumpler bag for each of my brother and my favourite chocolate ROYCE!

2009-12-09T05:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Alpharians,

There will be an outing tomorrow, so here are the infomation.

Time (meetup) : 10am to 10.30am
Venue: Harbourfront Mrt (wait in front of candy empire)
Things to bring: Extra clothes, towel and CASH (min.$20)
Attire: Dark clothings

People who are going:
1.Sherman
2.Justin
3.Jiahao
4.Elias
5.Shanon
6.Alvin
7.Yusen
8.Darrel
9.Thavan
10.Edison
11.Desmond
12.Jingkai
13.Bryan
14.Kaixiong
15.Minli
16.Jocelin

Total: 16 Peeps

Activities:
1.Volleyball
2.Rugby
3.Friskby
4.Water Bombs
5.Soccer
6.Forfeit Games
7.Captain's ball
8.Sand Castle Building
9.Tunnel Building
**Maybe you would like to bring sunblock since all activities are so intense.
***Those who working and meeting us for dinner, give us a call. Thanks!

Any further questions regarding the outing, you may contact our organiser, Bryan.
Thank you.

Deja vu!

2009-12-08T06:20:00.000-08:00

I had fun today morning with my brothers playing pool at Yishun Safra.
Well, won quite lots of matches (:
Deja vu do happened occasionally.
Actually, i had a dream before that i played with my brothers and i won.
I remembered clearly i wore the same clothes and a jacket on.
What a coincidence.

There was once it happened that i didn't expected it to be exactly the same.
I dreamt that my uncle win lottery and treat us to restaurant to eat chilli crab.
Then we arrived at the restaurant and they told us no crabs that day and end up in coffeeshop eating seafood.
Guess what?
The same exact thing transpired!
Gosh!
So scary!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2009-12-07T03:16:00.000-08:00

Burnt a hole in Pocket!

I went out shopping at takashimaiya.
Bought health and knowledge.
Health cost $62.
Knowledge cost $49.
Both items were a bomb to my wallet.

2009-12-06T07:25:00.000-08:00

Today was a boring day.
I woke up at 1pm.
Just can't explain why I am so shagged.
Well, woke up and watched 'Romantic Princess'.
I only want see Wu Zun -.-
lol.

My parents then brought me and my youngest bro to bedok for lunch.
BEDOK! It's crazy.
It's just lunch and must go until Bedok.. somemore coffeeshop!
Somemore I was tired.. headache..
Argh.. not a good day..

2009-12-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

Back from merged department chalet!

Although i'm back, I have a feeling of I can't explain.
Got a she bu de de gan jue (couldn't bare to) leave.
It's the first and the last time going to this merged chalet.
I have collected fond memories we all gathered.
I would like to show my appreciation to cheryl and jiaxin for inviting me.
Thank you very much!
Actually I was quite looking forward to this chalet because games were well-prepared.
Unfortuantely, bad weather distrupted everything, efforts for planning the games by the juniors were drained.
Hais..
I hope to have another chalet/outing with them again.
Really do hope so..

Let's not widen our gap no matter what.

2009-12-03T05:42:00.000-08:00

Today early wake up go yishun find my brother go play pool at Yishun Safra.
Quite fun and gained some experiences too.
I will be looking forward for my new pool table after I move house.

WoooHOOO!

2009-12-02T05:31:00.000-08:00

It was a tired day.
I was told last night that my mum want me to go work in her office.
This morning I slept till 10 and realised no one was at home,
which means don't need go work.
After awhile, I saw slip on my mouse pad, it says: Call mum when you wake up.
Lol.. means wake up still need to go -.-
well.
I worked tremendously hard today!
I did all the typing of invoices, calculation of insurances and write a card to inform customers on their insurance expire date.
Phew, hardwork paid off, I received $50 on the end of the day.
I told my mum: mi.. i work so hard only 50 dollars, give another 10 dollars lah..
She pondered and knocked her head: okay la, since today you do so much, I give you la.
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:
I earned 60 dollars! woots!

2009-12-01T03:31:00.000-08:00

Today is the 3rd time went out of my house after O level.
Er.. abit exaggerating but really, 3rd time -.-
Maybe I love my house too much (:
I went to play soccer with my schoolmates (Kaixiong,Mingjun,Darrel,Bryan,Elias,
Sengyu,Justin)
opposite the park's street soccer court.
The moment I walked to the court, I was felt thermogenic.
The weather super hot la, is like can tear your skin.
I kept perspiring non-stop and complaining very hot.
But despite the weather, we still able to play happily but was abit lazy to run.

I told myself to start exercising if not, i'll be a fatty bom bom soon...

2009-11-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

I had a long course today from 1.45pm to 5.30pm.
It was beneficial for my financial planning.
Big thanks to Uncle Daniel for teaching me great stuffs, there's more to learn (:
I will go read up on the notes, books and magazines you lend me.
Thanks!

2009-11-26T04:35:00.000-08:00

These are the people who I went with (:

Thanks for the non stop pressing on my door bell for fun, ringing my room phone for fun and the time we spent together. Hope to have another trip again with more people! (:

2009-11-25T06:38:00.000-08:00

Finally back home from genting!
I had a great fun with Yi Ping, Bryan, Elias and Shanon's family.
His parents were humourous,although jokes were lame but was really funny (:
The first day was tiring because it was a long journey.
All the meals were on his parents, I felt a little guilty though..
The 4 of us wanted to pay the parents but they don't want to accept it.
Hais ._.
Almost everyday we shop till we pok.
Things there were quite expensive but still, anyhow buy (:
We went mushroom farm and temple too.
It was really enjoyable.
Shall post the photos soon.

2009-11-20T23:39:00.000-08:00

I had lots of fun during the chalet.

Thanks for having a wonderful class for 2 years together.

I love 4A!
Also thanks the boys' accompany for the 2nd night.

2009-11-14T06:42:00.000-08:00

It's wonderful to be back home.
Now that i'm back, it is also time to revive my blog and also at the same time wait for my results.

2009-07-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

2009-07-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday,Jiayu!
15 years old already, yet heart of a young girl.
Be cheerful always!

Although I'm halfway through, I'm beat and in the state of bewilderment.

2009-07-11T05:54:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling awful..

2009-07-05T08:29:00.001-07:00

Luctor et emergo

2009-07-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone.
Does any of your parents own a car or a motorcycle?
If so, does he/she needs any insurance quotation?
If yes, I can assist.
Please give me your support! (:

For more information, you can visit http://www.motorcarinsurance.com.sg/.
Or call Agnes (Phone number ask from me personally) for free quotation or to unsubscribe.

Please give me your support! (:

2009-06-27T20:29:00.001-07:00

It's dead.

2009-06-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

Although most of you didn't manage to turn up,
you're still my wonderful class.

2009-06-18T23:26:00.000-07:00

ONWARDS, WELFARE!

2009-06-12T01:09:00.000-07:00

This post is the 201st post!
Wow. Impressive to me.

Everything seems fine these days but just can't sleep well.
I guess I listened too much of 'it's like INSOMNIA, oh..'
Haha.
People these days like to act in front of others to catch extreme attention.
Everyone has a natural part of attraction.
If you are already attractive, why make it grostesque to spoil your own image?
I wondered too.
The loathesome part of you just make me feel debilitate.

Recently, people told me things about others.

To positvely minded, I replied: Well, maybe that's them?

Well, I cannot say anything as I don't want to get into the problem and also not to 'huo shang jia you' (make things worst).

Those peeps who treason or sell others down the river will have difficulties in the real society, the true reality.

By doing all these deleterious things, they will lose something that they didn't realise.

It's trust.

Without trust, don't say people don't give you a hand but dare not help you even you are 2 or 3 steps away.

Because they are afraid that you may do something pernicious back to them.

Well, I think reflection is needed in this case.

Sometimes, capitulation is best solution.

2009-06-06T22:01:00.000-07:00

2009-06-03T07:34:00.001-07:00

LONG DAY!

2009-06-02T05:15:00.001-07:00

Today supposing to go to school for humanities but turned out Ms Chan had an ultra high fever.
Hey Ms Chan, please get well soon.
We need your support to conquer Europe!

I spent my entire day at my mum's office to help her key invoice.
Tough day but got salary lah.
Preparing for my tuition now.
Seeya!

2009-05-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have tons of fun , laughter and injuries today!
WOO!
Once again, thanks 1A for inviting me to your BBQ.
It was awesome!
Pardon my cooking, cook satay cook damn long.
Thanks for the laughter and injuries by geraldine, syn lynn and SOK KUAN (PIG).
When me and sokkuan on the way back to return bike, geraldine and syn lynn followed.
So ended 2 person on a bike.
Firstly, me and geraldine.
Cycle half way stop, turn back see how sokkuan doing, then we both fall -.-
It's the first time geraldine fall off a bike.
Very sorry!
The journey quite smooth then something cocked up.
Syn lynn too tall for sokkuan to longbang.
They stop , stop and stop.
So we exchange people.
Me and sokkuan.
This is the worst scenario.
Sokkuan heavier than me then she cannot sit still!
We fall 2 times..
LOL! Always say : STOP STOP! I want to fall already!
So I stopped for her to change her position.
Guess what? She change to a position that she might have no mother's day anymore -.-
When I start riding, she shout and shout: WHA! VERY PAIN ARH! (laugh laugh laugh)
Then I stopped.
She started jumping. (lol)
She then took out her clothes and my towel and shirt to put as cushion.
When she sit, all of them just drop and drop -.-
Dot.dot.dot.
Almost every 10 secs stop 1 time.
When we fall, sokkuan's head was like durian -.-
It hit my tooth and it like going to drop off! -.-
I asked her to ride geraldine then synlynn take me.
It was then fine after that.
Phew.
Both me and sokkuan paid extra charges for being late for 2 hours.
Afterall, it wasn't a bad experience!
I loved it.
Thanks for today, everyone!
And to sokkuan : Do remember what I told you arh! HAHA!

2009-05-29T03:46:00.000-07:00

3 more days to Chinese O level.
Results I gotten today during PTC was too alarming.
Let's not talk about it.

Today, someone came and talked to me.
It was regarding about her friendship.
What is the feeling like when one postering as someone's identity to hurting them deeply.
There must be the reason behind it, but definitely not an excuse.
Is it immature when one believe elses say?
Well, I think that it is not about immaturity.
Because there's a saying : People believe in what is first in sight without any consideration.
It's their thinking .
If you did not do anything wrong, don't need to feel guilty.
With conscience, our life will lead happily.
There isn't a need to grudge about it.
Time is the best medicine.

The more you want to solve the problem quickly, the more complicated it goes.
People just have to meet their obstacles along their journey.
With obstacles, it comes with great determination to conquer .

Determination makes failure impossible.

So not to think too much.
Problem will slowly solve on its own and one will feel what the meaning of friendship is.
Don't need to worry too much.

Great Big Smile,
(: